


Heaven On Earth

by Lunashrimp6618



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell, Anxiety, Cuddles, Depression, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, One Shot, kustard - Freeform, lots of hugs, self-harm mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-26
Updated: 2018-06-26
Packaged: 2019-05-28 18:59:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,087
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15055646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lunashrimp6618/pseuds/Lunashrimp6618
Summary: Red hadn't exactly acclimated to this peaceful universe. He's kept awake constantly by nightmares, tortured by anxious thoughts and shadows that became enemies. The only solace he finds from his mind is the occasional visits from Sans.





	Heaven On Earth

**Author's Note:**

  * For [modambrosia](https://archiveofourown.org/users/modambrosia/gifts).



> So, this is my first official work that I actually finished. I hope y'all enjoy! And you too, modambrosia!  
> 

_It was like a never-ending nightmare._

_Day in and day out, he fought. Fought against the tides, fought against his own kind. Fought against his brother. Fought against himself. His world was blood and LOVE and dust scattered to the wind._

_His world was the red of his brother’s scarf pooled pitifully at his feet, the last moment he took his breath before he felt his body dissolve into nothingness. His world was a threat hanging over his head, like an anvil waiting to fall._

_The world was pain and chaos and hunger and anger. It bled red everywhere, spreading like a cancer._

_It was a never-ending nightmare._

_I _t was-__

* * *

 

Red awakened with a gasp.

One hand went up to clutch sternum, right above is soul. The other hand was raised, several glowing bones hovering in the air beside him, deadly points raised at an invisible opponent.

Red’s chest heaved as he took in gulping breaths, trying to still his beating soul. The doorbell continued to ring, the thing that had awoken him.

Red ran a hand over his face, groaning lowly. “I’m comin! Just give me a minute.” He grumbled the last part.

He got off the bed, pulling a random t-shirt from the nearest pile of clothing.

He gave it a cursory sniff. Smelled clean enough. It wasn’t too stained either. He pulled it over his head, groaning as his scarred bones creaked and groaned from being used after what felt like years of disuse.

He wandered out into the front room, a scowl already in place to send the nosy bastard who dared knock on his door this late.

Red’s alternate self, Sans, leaned against the doorway, hands casually stuffed into his hoodie pockets. For once, Red didn’t fire off an annoyed response, too disoriented from the rather disjointing dream he’d been well, dreaming, moments before.

Sans smirked. “what’s the matter, red? cat _gato_ your tongue?”

Red spluttered, searching desperately for a comeback. This just made that grin so much wider.

“i guess this kitten’s been declawed. what a _purr_ fectcly perfect problem i have on my hands.” Sans walked in past Red, shutting the door behind him.

Red numbly followed the skeleton who had suddenly invaded his home into the front room, where his alternate in blue plopped down on the couch.

Sans yelped as he did so, launching himself back off the couch, a hand coming up to rub his backend. “jeez, a little _handsy_ there, huh couch?” He leaned down, seeming to examine the couch. “red, I think it’s time to get you a new couch. this thing has coils springing out all over the place.”

He knew Sans was speaking. He could hear his voice. But all Red could think about was the suddenly great view of Sans’s posterior he was suddenly gifted with. A faint red flush sprinkled over Red’s face as he covered his mouth, forcing himself to look away.

Nope, he was not doing this today. Finally, he mustered up enough intelligence to speak comprehensibly. It still came out like a train wreck. “wha-what are you doing here? I was in the middle of sleeping!”

Sans turned from his investigation, the question written on his face. “um, movie night with paps and your bro? is today? Or did you forget again.” He leaned over and flicked Red on the forehead. “you’re getting old, red. and why were you sleeping? It’s nearly eight in the afternoon.”

Red remembered discussing something of the sort with Papyrus and Boss about a movie night between the pairs of brothers, but honestly hadn’t though much about it since then. He’d thought his bro would take care of most of the details. Red wasn’t exactly the planning type. He hadn’t even cleaned.

As Red looked around his apartment, a flash of repulsive disgust crossed his mind.

The place was a complete pigsty.

Garbage filled most of the corners. Empty ramen cups, crumpled newspapers, the occasional bag of takeout and various monster food products left out to rot made up multiple piles. His laundry was strewn everywhere. Mini trash tornadoes strayed across the room, occasionally picking up his socks and flinging them around the room.

His soul sank. He hadn’t even realized just how bad it had gotten. The kitchen was probably in worse shape than the front room. All that food…

He really was a failure. He couldn’t remember the simplest of things.

Stupid.

Idiot.

Why couldn’t he just clean up a little every once in while! It wasn’t that hard. Just reach down and pick it up. Grab it and toss it back into the bottomless abyss that is his room. Toss it in the garbage. It’s right there.

Foolish bastard.

Red grabbed ahold of his arm, fingers digging slightly into the bone there. The pain was a familiar comfort that kept Red in the present.

It was okay. Sans didn’t even seem to mind. He continued to babble as Red drifted along behind him, picking out a movie from Flix-picks and sliding a warm bowl of popcorn into Red’s hands. Before Red knew it, he was settled alongside Sans on the couch, the lights dimmed and the movie starting.

Red glanced at Sans, whom was now riveted to the screen. He didn’t want to interrupt him, but he had to ask. “where’s boss and papyrus?”

Sans paused the movie as the beginning credits rolled. “they thought we needed some alone time. the two decided to, and quote, ‘GET OUT OF THE WAY OF OUR DEVELOPING LOVE BECAUSE LOVE IS THE BEST KIND OF FREINDSHIP.’ i’m not sure exactly what paps meant, but with him, you just kind of roll with it.”

“I know what you mean. boss can be a bit of a handful.” Red tried to say as calmly as possible, but it was nearly impossible. His soul was pulsing so fast, he thought Sans would be able to hear it.

Love? What did Papyrus mean by that exactly??

“paps is the same way. When he gets an idea in his head, he sticks with it. No matter how silly it may be.” Sans chuckled, a fond look in his eyes. “its one of the things I love about him.”

There it was again.

Love.

So casually said here in this universe.

“y-yeah. Let’s-let’s just play the movie, ‘kay?” Red muttered, trying to still the sudden dark thought.

Sans shrugged, restarting the movie.

They sat there for what felt like forever. As the movie went on, something about some kid going back in time in junky car that ran on garbage, Red found himself beginning to fall asleep. He couldn’t help it. He was just… so… tired…

His head fell against Sans’s shoulder so suddenly it woke him back up. Sans gave his alternate an amused grin. “you okay there, buddy?”

The flush returned. “yeah. Just mind you own damn business.”

“chill, buddy. I was just checking.” Sans raised his hands in self-defense, “no need to get hostile.”

Red’s cheeks reddened angrily as he huffed, crossing his arms. “just leave me alone.”

“red…” Sans said softly. He tried to lean over, maybe to grab him, but something in Red decided violence was the only way to react.

Red threw up an arm, trying to push his alternate away. “i said leave. me. alone!”

Sans caught the arm easily, eye flaring with blue fire as he cast blue magic on Red’s soul freezing him in place. “woah there, red. there’s no need for this.”

Red tried to squirm away but winced when Sans tightened his grip. This seemed to have been caught by the other, as his eyes narrowed as he watched Red very carefully now. He squeezed again, this time wrenching a gasp from the fell monster.

Red’s soul skipped a beat in sudden realization. Sans knew. Somehow, the bastard knew. He’d figured it out. Red knew Sans was smart, crazily so. He knew he would figure it out. But it was too soon, too raw, he’d just picked not long ago, please, not now of all the times…

With a quick movement, Sans pulled the stained sweater’s sleeve up, revealing the various nicks and chips in Red’s bones. Red stiffened, freezing so much more than the blue magic holding him in place. He expected something, a scathing remark, pity in Sans’s eyes, something. But what happened he never would have guessed.

“red…” Hi voice was low, soft, well-intentioned, not even the least bit exasperated or condescending, like boss would be. Just soft and concerned.

Sans’s hands trailed down the exposed bones, fingers lightly catching on the numerous divots carved into them. Red shivered when those fingers dipped between radius and ulna. It wasn’t a sexual thing, but an invasion of his space. You don’t just poke a finger between bones. The magic holding him together was alive there, acting like transparent muscle. It was sensitive and quite uncomfortable to be perfectly honest.

But Sans was gentle. No leaking killer intent, no Karmic Retribution spawning to tear his meager HP to 0, simply that relaxed, ever-present grin and an honest, open stare that spoke of something Red didn’t want to see.

Red returned his attention to the TV in front of them.

He couldn’t meet such a gaze.

Even thinking about it made him nervous. In his universe, such emotions were viewed as weakness. It wasn’t something you’d show in public. The Underground was a living warzone; the next time you stepped outside could be your last.

It was survival.

When you are surviving, you don’t have time for love or happiness. You worry about your next meal and securing some meager shelter or defense. When you open yourself up to someone, your reveal a weakness that can easily be exploited.

In moments of trial, you could only rely on your family.

Sometimes not even then.

Red had been very lucky. Where Red had been a weak, 1 HP monster, albeit a very powerful one, Boss had both the power and the health to protect both himself and his brother. But that left Red as a very weak chink in the otherwise impenetrable armor.

As Edge rose to power, his influence gaining in the Underground, so did the animosity toward him. The higher the rank, the higher the EXP, the higher the gain from Edge’s death. Everyone could see the rising star cared for his brother.

The wicked and the hopeless took advantage of this. One evening was all it took to destroy their fragile happiness. Neither spoke of that night, walking away with scars and raised LV. Afterward, they swore never to allow such a situation to happen again.

So began a ruse of epic proportions.

When in public, they fought like cats and dogs. But in the comfort of their own home, they released those walls that held up like Jericho and crashed just as easily once the door was locked.

Things were almost relaxed at home, where neither had to respond to the other with vile hatred. But soon even the ruse began to invade their home. They grew rough, pushing and shoving, before Edge began to withdraw, pulled by his ever-growing work schedule and pile of responsibilities. This left Red very, very alone. What was once a ruse to hide a family became a broken, shattered bond of blood.

It was war in their home and Red hated it. But he was virtually alone. So he took to drinking. And smoking. And gambling. No longer could he hold his eyes open, his soul empty and heavy all at once. He grew sloppy, lazy, and uncaring in general. He would later find out the word for this. Depressed. Anxious.

Edge grew tough, unloving, almost feral toward his brother. Red found himself subjected to a living nightmare as Edge succumbed to the power struggle. Verbal abuse spewed in a nervous moment escalated to the occasional slap. Then slowly descended into the physical abuse: the slams against the wall, the trips down the stairs, the strangling. Edge had no outlet of which to turn to, and Red just happened to be there when it happened.

A perfect practice doll.

Red learned to turn off his emotions. Go numb against the world. The only outlet was the occasional knife drawn across the bones of his arms, sometimes his femurs.

Add the human suddenly appearing, tearing through the Underground again and again as they learned they had the ability to Reset, and Red had no reason to show anything. Why would he? Who would ever believe the madness he was subjected to? Who would listen to his cries for help?

No one.

It would be like signing his own death warrant.

Suddenly being thrown into a world where the inhabitants weren’t emotionally constipated, and rather open about everything was a culture shock Red almost didn’t make it through. It was by the grace of the stars above that Red met Sans.

It took months to get Red to where he was now, on his own and able to function. But the depression had set in again, the anxiety so much worse this time around for some reason. He’d begun to hate the outside, avoiding crowded places, sitting with his back to walls, sticking to the side of rooms when he needed to get somewhere. He became hyper aware of his breathing. Was it too loud? Too fast? What if a human heard? Were his steps too loud? To slow? Too fast? Too soon?

Every human who whispered near him became a potential threat. They were talking about him, planning his demise. Every monster once again became an enemy instead of a potential ally. It was maddening and frustrating but Red had no clue what to do. He couldn’t leave the apartment without sobs stealing his breath and his thoughts whirling so fast he became dizzy with them.

Red was pulled from his thought by a careful touch to his shoulder. “red?”

Sans’s voice was soft, careful.

Red didn’t want that. Didn’t want soft and careful. Didn’t want pity and concern. He just wanted to be left alone.

“i-i’m fine. just leave me alone.” Red mumbled. His arms crossed, a defensive move as he turned away from Sans. At some point, the blue magic must have dissipated.

“no, you’re not.” Sans said. “now why don’t we go to grillby’s and-“ He was cut off when Red violently whirled around, an open hand slapping him across the face.

“shut up!” Red growled. His singular eye lit up red, showing he was deadly serious. “we ain’t going to grillby’s! I’m fine!”

Sans rolled his eyelights and in a rather uncharacteristic movement, burst forward, grabbing his flailing wrists and pushing Red down against the cushions firmly.

Red blinked.

It had happened so fast, he had no time to react. “g-get off of me!” Red tried to squirm, thrashing this way and that, but was unable to escape. Sans leaned down, pressing his weight more fully onto Red.

“none of that.” His grip was firm, unyielding, but gentle all at once. Red could escape at any moment, and it was that which made a part of him want to scream in rage.

How dare this wretched being who so freely expresses everything we never could pin us down. He’s weaker than us; we have more LV than he could ever hope to reach. This pitiful world wouldn’t allow it.

But a softer part, the part that’s grown since Red entered this universe, speaks so softly it’s a mere whisper. But it’s loud and insistent at the same moment, like a gentle breeze brushing away the mugginess of a summer day. The part that doesn’t want to escape, to relish in this feeling he dare not name. To stay pinned and captured in the arms of someone that he…

Red glared at his alternate, wriggling his wrists slightly. “ge’ off.”

“nope. not until you stop acting like a child.” Sans pressed against his wrists, emphasizing the command.

That last litte part of him, the nasty part of Red’s mind, reveled at the force. He squirmed slightly at the hot flash that ran down his spine. “just… leave me ‘lone.” His voice was slightly muffled as he pressed his slowly flushing face into his sweater.

Sans leaned close, unbearably so, and pressed a finger gently under Red’s jaw, forcing him to look Sans in the eye. “look at me. just tell me what’s up, and we can end this.” Sans’s eyes flickered down, settling on Red’s mouth, slightly agape, small, heated gasps coming out between parted teeth. With a low, purring growl he chuckled. “unless you don’t want this to end, red.”

Okay, that was it. Red squeaked in embarrassment, bucking his hips upward to dislodge his alternate self. “okay! okay! i give up! i’ll tell you! J-just get off’a me!”

Sans smirked, sliding back off of Red and letting the Fell monster’s wrists go, settling comfortably on the other side of the couch.

Red sat up, face glowing a bright crimson, eyelights blown wide as he looked anywhere and everywhere but Sans. He absently rubbed his wrists. Sans noticed, a streak of guilt going through him. He hadn’t meant to hurt Red. Just apply a little… force… is all.

“ah, sorry. didn’t mean to hurt you.” Sans apologized.

"it’s fine.” Red said, quiet. Low. Sans realized the other wouldn’t look at him now. He placed a hand on red’s shoulder, squeezing it gently.

“hey, can you look at me, red?” Sans tried. “please?”

Red glanced his way, eyelights back to their normal pure white dots.

“listen to me. this is something paps told me awhile back, when i was in a bad place. it was something i needed to hear a long time ago, and i think you do too.” Sans took a shuddery breath, steadying himself by readjusting the firm grip he had on Red’s shoulders. “it’s okay to not be okay, red. it’s okay to have these bad days. it’s okay to ask for help.’ Sans grinned sadly. “it’s okay to hurt a little.”

Red gasped, trying to pull away. “wh-what are you talkin about?”

“you’re not okay, red, so stop acting like it.” Sans reiterated. “you can talk to me.”

“i-I can’t. there’s nothing to talk about.” Red tried to pull away, this time succeeding, crossing his arms.

“red…”

“please, sans, leave it be. i’m beggin you.” The plea was evident in Red’s voice.

“red…” Sans tried once more.

“seriously, i’m done sans! i don’t want to talk about this!” Red nearly got up, but a firm grip on his wrist kept him in place.

“please, red, I’m right here. I’ll listen.” Sans slid his hand down Red’s arm to entwine their fingers together. “I promise.”

The weight of those words struck Red. He knew what that meant to Sans. He didn’t make promises easily.

“i don’t get it, okay?” Red cried. “how can you all be so happy? why? th-those humans did awful things to you! to us! and you make it all a huge joke!” His hands clenched into fists as he struggled to contain the overwhelming emotions that welled as tears in his eyes. “i-i wish it was that easy, but it isn’t. i freak out when i see a human, i freak out when i think about s-seeing boss again, i can’t, i just can’t…” Red broke himself off, sobs wracking his thin frame.

It took several minutes, Red’s soft sobs filling the otherwise quiet room as Sans waited at his side. He murmured soft condolences, soft promises that they both knew he wouldn’t take lightly.

As the tears abated, Sans pulled Red into his side, letting Red’s head rest on his shoulder, his arm firmly wrapped around his ribs. “it’s okay, red. you don’t have to right now.” His grip tightened ever so slightly. “paps and i are here to help. you’re brother is here too.”

“b-but, boss, he-“ Red stuttered.

Sans interrupted that train of thought before it became anymore destructive. “your brother loves you, red. he just doesn’t know how to say it. or show it.”

“boss never s-said anything, even back home.” Red countered.

“how could he? your universe is like a cancer to everyone living in it. it hurt him, and it hurt you.” Sans gestured around them. “here, there isn’t any of that. you’re safe here.”

“i-I guess.”

“we don’t have to talk now, red, if you don’t want to. but at some point, when you feel better. is that alright?” Sans asked, leaning forward to try and catch Red’s wayward gaze once again.

“y-yeah.” Red finally relented, giving Sans a tired grin.

Sans smiled, seemingly okay with the turn of events. He turned back to the TV, and said, “want to watch the rest of the movie?”

“sure.”

Sans gathered Red’s shaking form into his lap, one arm wrapping around his shoulders, he other grabbing the blankets still draped over the back of the couch and swaddling the other in it. Red couldn’t help the whimper that came out, snuggling deeper into he provided warmth, his head resting in the crook of Sans’s neck joint.

Sans shivered below Red when he breathed out, no doubt brushing against the sensitive bones there. Red reveled in the momentary rush of power at being able to make the normally unflappable prankster squirm, even if it was for just a moment.

Sans pulled away, a wary look on his face. “you did that on purpose didn’t you?”

“nope. i didn’t do anything.” Red fluttered his eyes innocently.

Sans snorted, pulling Red closer. They continued watching the movie in relative silence, the only noise was the occasional rustle of clothing as one or the other adjusted their position.

“you know somebody really cares about you, right?” Sans said suddenly when the credits began rolling.

Red rolled his eyes at his alternate self’s forwardness, saying, “yeah, I know. Boss and paps and you and everybody else care about me.”

A finger on his chin gently guided him to look into blue, blue eyelights shaped like hearts. “no, red. somebody _really_ cares about you. in this room."

Red seemed to let the words sink in a moment.

He then turned as red as a tomato and spluttered, burying his head in the blanket on Sans’s shoulder. Sans laughed when Red gave a piercing scream.

“you can’t just say those kinds of things to me!” Red’s voice was muffled but clearly understood.

“i can, and I will, until you believe me.” Sans said and pulled the other back into a hug, one hand wrapped carefully around Red’s waist, the other cradling the back of his head. Sans held him so close, like he never wanted to let Red go. Like Red was a precious, fragile being that deserved to be handled only with the most tedious care.

Red hadn’t felt so loved since… forever.

“thanks, sans.” Red muttered. “for… a lot of things.”

Sans pulled back, the adoration on his face nearly brightening the room. “red, you are absolutely amazing.” And he swooped in without any warning for a kiss.

Their first kiss.

Red’s first kiss. 

It was a simple clack of bone against bone, over within seconds, but it was enough.

Red froze up, staring disbelievingly as Sans pulled away. Sans seemed to realize what he’d done. It as his turn to turn a bright blue color, his face lit up like a Christmas tree light. Red found the sight absolutely adorable. “I think it’s my turn.”

With that, he leaped on top of the other, sending them tumbling to the floor in a pile of blankets and giggles. Red ended up on top of Sans, resting with his elbows on either side of Sans’s head. They were grinning like mad men, but men in love nonetheless.

Red leaned down, nuzzling Sans on the forehead. “I love you, bonehead.”

It wasn’t what Red had wanted, finding this love. He had just wanted to escape the living nightmare. He just wanted a home. He just wanted his brother back. But those things didn’t happen in a day. One day, he might be able to say the same to Boss- no, to his brother. Papyrus.

But not right now. Right now, he could say I love you to the one person who would say the same back.

“I love you too, red.”

* * *

“just how long have you, uh, had these feelings, Sans?”

“awhile now.”

“how long’s awhile?”

“since we met.”

“WHAT?”


End file.
